Nuits d'HPF by Aoife OHara


Image : Aoife O'Hara

Textes produits à l'occasion des nuits d'HPF.
Texte 1: The epic story of the double decker bus driven by Chris O'Donnell

Categories: Humour Characters: Aucun
Avertissement: Aucun
Langue: Aucun
Genre Narratif: Nouvelle
Series: Les Nuits d'HPF
Chapters: 1 Completed: Oui Word count: 730 Read: 1810 Published: 15/06/2012 Updated: 28/06/2012

1. Texte 1: The epic story of the double decker bus driven by Chris O'Donnell by Aoife OHara

Texte 1: The epic story of the double decker bus driven by Chris O'Donnell by Aoife OHara
It is all about a double decker. I am talking about a bus, not one of those chewy, sticky and nougat-y chocolate bars. Or more specifically, it is about the bus driver, the driver of the bus, well, the same old taxi driver joke, right.

That bus driver was called Chris O’Donnell and was a young fellow from Northern Ireland who had come to London very recently. Good old Chris had spent the past night partying with his new party buddies in pubs all over the city before he realized he was on an early shift the next day. However, he still decided to go to work without a minute of sleep.
That morning, the fog was quite thick, even for November. Chris O’Donnell first had some trouble driving straight but it quickly got better and felt fine again, just in time to stop at his first station. A couple of office ladies got on, Oyster cards beeped, office ladies sat at the back. At the next stop, some more people got on, but Chris O’Donnell didn’t even bother to look at them and just closed the doors when the last one had got in. None of them went upstairs either, probably because of the foggy weather. Would you like to sit at the upper level of a double decker bus in winter on a foggy day? I didn’t think so.

Soon enough, Chris O’Donnell drove his bus towards the centre of the city. At some point, when he stopped his bus for the fourteenth time, a very gorgeous woman got on the bus. She beeped her Oyster card and Chris thought it was a very beautiful beep. As he drove off, he looked up his rear-view mirror to see where that woman was going.

While doing so, Chris stopped looking at the road. While stopping to look at the road, Chris didn’t notice he had made a mistake at the last roundabout, neither did he notice the gigantic low bridge made of concrete that was just in front of him. When the bus and the bridge collided, Chris was way too surprised to use his brakes, and as he was driving off through the bridge, the top of the bus that couldn’t follow fell behind.

When falling, the top of the bus hit – more precisely, crushed like berries – the car right behind. That car happened to be a taxi, driven by a woman named Jasminder Chadhrah, and driving a member of the Tory and a student who had, for unknown reasons, chosen to split the price of the ride. All were killed at once.
Many were the reactions.

The Indian population and soon all foreign and immigrant population on British ground demonstrated for peace. Tory members began some kind of political vendetta against all Labour members. Students then attacked the Parliament and went on riots to save the country while the government decided on an embargo against Ireland, as it was only pointed out later that Chris O’Donnell was from the North. As riots escalated all over Britain, the US decided to step in. As the US stepped in, the UN decided that the US should stop to think of themselves as the police of the world and sent unit to send back the US forces. The US then declares war but nobody really realised to whom. As everyone was leaving the UN, some conflict started within the EU and it all went down to some kind of major war situation in Europe which was at war without really knowing against whom either. Then Russia felt left out and sent a massive torpedo to the US, which missed and crashed next to Japan. At that point, the situation had escalated so much that North Korea sent a huge nuclear rocket into the sky – but it happened to be some kind of technology that had never ever been tested, so it flew through the sky and landed on a passing war space-shift that was on a routine shift over the solar system. Then the aliens got sort of pissed off I guess and blew off the entire planet.

That said, it probably wouldn’t have happened if only Chris O’Donnell hadn’t gone to work to drive that bus on that special morning. But, I’m just saying, you know.
Cette histoire est archivée sur